What Gardening Has Taught Me

An Explanation

This one's a little different from my usual blog posts. It’s less “how to” and more “what I’ve noticed along the way”.

I’ve never been very good at writing any other way than from the heart and the last twelve months or so have been one of reflection, grief and intense emotions.

Perhaps it’s my heightened sensitivity that has drawn me more to my garden, which has quietly become my safe space for solitude and learning.

Getting to grips with nature in its most raw and basic form. Tending to roots, noticing what survives, what withers and what is suddenly no longer there.

Gardening has taught me that life doesn’t always fit neatly into the box I imagined it would. It has certainly sharpened my awareness that the strong roots of friendship keep you grounded and shouldn’t be taken for granted.

You never quite know when a harsh winter is around the corner or how quickly something, once so strong, can be cut down so suddenly.

So if you have a few moments, I’d love for you to pop the kettle on, get comfortable and join me for a gentle stroll down memory lane.

I'd like to share with you the lessons which have quietly taken root over the years - but if you’d rather skip straight to the main point then please feel free.

Childhood Memories

When I was growing up, our family home had two gardens, one at the front and one at the back. Both were lovingly tended by my mum.

Whilst I don’t remember every tiny detail, there are certain things I can picture with absolute clarity.

At the front of the house stood two beautiful lilac trees, one with white flowers and the other with pale purple. In the back garden there were foxgloves, bluebells and a large tree with cascading yellow flowers, the name of which escapes me now, among many other beautiful blooms.

The lilac trees were my favourite. To this day, I can’t pass one without breathing in the sweet scent and being instantly transported back in time - back to the shed at the bottom of the garden where my brother turned his hand at homemade wine, and back to the swing where I would spend countless hours singing my heart out with my own enthusiastic rendition of Somewhere Over The Rainbow.

Looking back, I’m fairly certain this must have irritated the neighbours no end. It not like I was ever going to be invited to join Choir of the Year!

Past Regrets

I wish I'd taken an interest to gardening when my mum was alive. I think we could have really enjoyed time pottering around together, but it just didn’t interest me when I was a youngster.

The closest I got to helping out was proudly picking flowers to hand to her as a gift. I can still see the look of dismay on her face when she realised I’d plucked her prize blooms!

Some Things Come Later in Life

Gardening came to me many years later and these days I can happily while away the hours wandering around garden centres, cooing over plants.

I used to coo over shoes and handbags so quite how I got here remains a mystery, but here I am nonetheless.

It Started With COVID

My gardening journey started during COVID when I decided that baking banana bread wasn’t for me so gardening was going to be my new hobby.

As a side, I also decided that I was going to learn to play the piano, a childhood dream that my parents never quite got on board with.

It was probably a wise decision on their part, given the rate I went through new ideas. A piano wouldn’t have been much of an investment, not least as far as their ears were concerned, certainly after enduring my attempts at learning to play the recorder!

So there's now a Broadwood & Sons baby grand piano standing proudly in my lounge.

I mention this purely to demonstrate that I’m tenacious to say the least. Once I decide I want to do something, I’ll find a way, no matter how long it takes.

Just in case you’re wondering though, I won’t be performing at the Royal Albert Hall any time soon!

But I digress. Back to the garden.

Throwing Myself In Headfirst

Typically for me, I threw myself headfirst into trying to grow absolutely everything. Bearing in mind my limited knowledge of flora, it won’t surprise you to learn that I succeeded at growing very little. That said, my tomatoes and cucumbers did thrive, despite taking over the greenhouse like something out of The Day Of The Triffids.

There were occasional problems, one of which I named ‘Caterpillargate’ - I’ll leave that one to your imagination, but I carried on regardless, trying different things over the years. Some worked, some didn’t.

My good friend, Mrs G and I started a gardening WhatsApp group. Over the next few years it quickly grew from the two of us to ten - nine women and one bloke who I don’t think fully realised quite what he was letting himself in for!

Now, almost six years down the line, I feel that I have reached a comfortable compromise with the level of my abilities. I don’t profess to be the next Monty Don, but some days I can definitely relate to The Good Life!

A New Growing Season

This year brings me an exciting new challenge! For my last birthday, Mrs G gifted me a rather fabulous advent calendar courtesy of The Little Trees Bees & Seeds Company.

Add to that the many other random packets of seeds I’ve collected and I now face the task of working out when everything needs to be sown and how on earth I'll manage to plant it all. I’m not talking timewise - I genuinely don’t know how I’m going to fit it all into my not-exactly-huge garden!

I’ll start to share my gardening journey on my Instagram page soon, so click 'follow', and enjoy the journey with me.

Changing Seasons

But now to the point of these musings.

At the end of last season, whilst I was stripping things back and preparing for winter, I found myself reflecting on what my garden has quietly taught me over the years. It was unexpectedly profound and made me realise just how ‘grown up’ I’ve become. Indeed, in my heart I still feel like I'm twenty one years old even though my back and knees appear to disagree.

So, here goes...

15 Life Lessons I've Learnt From My Garden - And You Can Learn From Them Too

Look After Your Mental Health

Two hours in the garden is far better than two hours spent watching TV. Your mind and body will thank you for it.

Patience Really Is a Virtue

Patience is required in abundance, but you will be rewarded handsomely.

Things Don't Always Have To Be Perfect

Just because something doesn’t conform to your idea of perfect, it doesn't mean that it doesn’t belong.

Try and Try Again

Sometimes things don’t work. Try again anyway. Even when things look hopeless, they can spring back to life.

Let Nature Take Its Course

Sometimes leaving things alone enables them to flourish. Letting nature run its own course is often the best way forward.

Protect Your Roots

Protect your relationships with your friends. Tend to them, make time for them and don’t assume they’ll always be there.

Never Lose Hope

Out of the most barren places, beautiful things can grow.

Slow And Sustainable

Don’t rush to do too much too soon. Slow and steady really does win the race and things are more likely to last with a solid foundation.

Look After The Bees

Without them, much of the world as we know it wouldn’t exist.

Bigger Isn't Always Better

Small can be beautiful too.

Give Your Kids The Space They Need

Some things don't do well in small pots. They need to be released from their constraints and planted firmly in the open. With space and room to grow you'll watch them thrive.

Things Won't Always Go To Plan - And That's OK

Not everything works out. Accept it and move on but, more importantly, learn from it.

Sometimes It's Good To Shake Things Up

Perfectly manicured can sometimes be dull. A little wildness often makes life far more interesting.

Appreciate Unexpected Joys And Happy Accidents

I once ordered oregano and received lemon balm - sometimes the unexpected things are the best surprises.

Never Totally Discount An Idea

What doesn’t interest you at one stage of life may become something you grow to love later. Place it on the back burner if you wish, but be careful what you discount forever.

Looking Back

These days, I see my garden less as something to control and more as something to learn from. It has taught me patience, perspective and when to step back and let things be. It has taught me that not everything needs fixing, forcing or perfecting. Growth often looks messy while it’s happening. Some things simply need time, space and trust.

It’s a mindset I’ve carried into hosting too, where a little preparation and a willingness to let go of perfection often makes for the most relaxed and enjoyable time with the people who you most care about.